Anger Management

The prophet (pbuh) said: "The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength. But the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." ( Al Bukhari )

Anger is a mental condition that provokes the excitement of man in words and deeds. Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Anger is a temptation of Satan and deception of Satan . It snatches away the wisdom of man and destructs many noble qualities of a human.

Keeping Silent: The Prophet(pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." ( Hadith, Imam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329 ) In most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter bad words or curses which would destroy his home or friendships .Keeping silent helps one to avoid all that.

Sit Down or Lie Down: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so that his anger will go away. If it does not go away, let him lie down." ( Hadith, Ahmad (5/152) and Sahih al-Jami (694))

Help of Water: The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution." ( Hadith, Abu Daawood )

A simple man from the desert once arrived in Medina and came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) .He asked Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to give him a word of advice, which he said he would follow. Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: "Control your anger." And then Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) remained silent.

When he returned to the interior of the desert where he lived, he found that the situation has become quite tense. Some audacious young man from his tribe had raided another tribe in the vicinity and stolen their wealth. In retaliation, the other tribe had also carried out some raids. Now they were at war. Immediately he prepared himself to defend his tribe and was angered by the outrageous conduct of the adversaries.

Just as he stood in line to fight, he suddenly recalled what Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had told him. "Control your anger". He was soon engrossed in deep thought. Admonishing himself, he said: "The anger has taken better of my reason. I have set out to fight without trying for an amicable settlement. What a shame!"

He came forward and addressed the leaders of the opposite side: "Brothers, what is this war for? If my people have raided your side and stolen your property, we could sit together and agree upon compensation. I am prepared to recompense form my personal wealth."

The leaders from the opposite side felt totally disarmed by this new approach. They soon realized that bloodshed was not at all worth anything. So with all the magnanimity, their chief said: "Well, you have agreed to recompense. But we are in no way inferior. We have agreed to forego our demand!"

And both parties peacefully retreated to their places.

The prophet (pbuh) said: "The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength. But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger." ( Hadith, Al Bukhari )

( pbuh = peace be upon him )

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